Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Code of Conduct

After spending an hour deciding whether my 'hello' was weird or not after a Swedish guy at work glanced at me a bit oddly as I casually said hello. In fact, I got my good gay husband to ring me and we decided I do have a funny 'hello' voice. Woe is me. I then spend the next 20 minutes practising my 'hello' to avoid any more attraction to how much different I am in world of City lifestyle.

Whilst staring at my screen at various items that will suit a person with Masters in Engineering then the likes of me, I realised how little there is on 'exact' rules on Women dress code. Men complain they HAVE to wear suits everyday and is very standard with no room to budge bar the odd crazy tie/cuff-links. Yes I agree in office wear, women do have more freedom on what to wear but there is fine line of what is acceptable and what will get men and women gossiping behind the printing machine.

In my observations, in general, there is:

A. I have Vagina but I have secret Penis inside type
The lady who dresses ultra Man-ish to show to world, yes I have a vagina but I have secret balls inside. The woman on mission to prove to world she can do whatever a man does, but a bit better. She is strong willed, does not take any shit, husky voice, drinks a dozen Starbucks Americano (none of these fruitless skinny lattes) and is often mistaken for being a dyke. These woman frank fully scare the living shit out of me, mainly as they can sense my fear and immaturity. These women are usually wearing full on suits, no skirts please (they will not sue their femininity to lure their clients in), often tie wearing and just generally unflattering clothes.

B. Tribal Escort
These women are confused by smart office wear and their normal wear clothes. They are often girls who think 'yes I want to be fashionable at work'. However, take it too OTT and end up looking like cheap escorts. They love the men and the men (well some) love her, she wears short skirts, crazy tights, hooker shoes, tight revealing tops and often has alot of random shades of blonde and brown in her hair to jazz up work look. These women probably are genuinely very nice on surface but who knows when you enter their marked male domain.

C. Class of Money
This is girl who wears suits but knows how to wear fashionable suits and dresses. They are smart office dresses, with heels but no platform hell like the Tribal Escort. They have immaculate nails, preened hair and genuinely look like they just came out of a Chanel adverts, These are the woman I inspire to be, when I have real money. These are often old money sort of woman, where most of their lovely pearls, rolex watches, Chanel dresses are all brought by Daddy's credit card or their wanker banker boyfriend. I do inspire to dress like these woman but alas my father is pauper and I have no interest in wanker bankers, as of yet.

D. Plain Jane
These girl wear smart clothes, not overly suited booted but still smart. Casually blouse with some plain black trousers and plain cardigan with plain black ballerina pumps. These girls seem to have most seal of approval by men in office. They are girl next door, not too power hungry to over shine the men's desire to be the bread winner, not too slutty where there is doubts whether she slept with her boss to get that promotion and not too stuck up middle class who will never marry below her status. These girls are just plain. I hardly notice these women. They will do fine in world of work but will never get that big break. These women are usually friendliest, due to their non threatening or over bearing any quality about themselves.

E. Rebel
The girl who does not conform to rules at all and decides the bloody hell what she deems as acceptable work wear and shoves two fingers to anyone else who says other.

F. I hear Gym calling again
The woman who is always eating salads and spends most of her lunches gym-ing away. She is the lady with heavy rucksack on her back, and wearing trainers to work whilst eating a power bar. She is the lady on the go. I do wish these woman will invest in some decent boots or flats, just as comfy as trainers!!!

Sorry for long posts but here is my ideal work office look...

Herve Leger Round Neck Bandage Dress - £920

If only I had enough money... Maybe it is time to invest in a Wanker Banker Boyfriend instead of the Arty Farty Types.

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